Humour

Lifestyle lubricants

T A Balasubramanian writes about the next wave of nifty gadgets that will make us lazier than ever

Back we go to the exciting environment of the Techno Over-exposition of Geeks and Gizmos for Lazy Enterprises (TOGGLE), an IT trade oasis that draws wide-eyed techies from far and wide.

“So here we are again, Papyrus,” says a cooing voice. You, Papyrus Bytewala, CIO of Baffle Corporation, turn to meet Ironica Asimova, founder and head of Ironica Robotica, the laboratory that designed Danny DeVito, your CTO and associate. As usual, DeVito, the biped walking humanoid is with you, and he looks admiringly at Asimova’s swirling yellow gown.

“Hmm, you look fine, Danny,” she beams at DeVito, who bows with a grin. “Gentlemen, may I invite you to our new pavilion here, where we will show you our latest creations for making your life smarter than ever—we call it the Ironica LaziWare Collection.”

“Woo!” says DeVito. “Is this the next wave of nifty gadgets that will make us lazier than ever?”

“Ha, ha. Well, even with your faultless bio-design, you could always use a lubricant or two for your lifestyle gears to click and mesh even more smoothly, Danny,” chuckles Asimova.

“And what would these … er, lubricants … do for us?” you enquire.

“Oh, plenty, Papyrus. As you might have noticed, the functions of previously separate gadgets like cameras, phones, and music players have come together into single devices in recent years. But juggling all of these functions in one product with multiple personalities is not simple. Users are quite often confused with the interfaces found on many big-selling gadgets.”

“Ha, I know,” says DeVito. “I have still to discover the rewind button on my recording device.”

“You see? So we have created a new prototype that is able to predict what function you want merely from the way you hold it. It is a generic all-purpose block, like a bar of soap, that knows your intention, and can change its interface accordingly,” says Asimova, waving a small rectangular pod with a smile.

“Oh, good,” says DeVito. “I could really use something like that.”

“This, gentlemen is LaziMova, our smart hand-held invention. A basic version of this model is already built into a handful of portable gadgets. Some of our early LaziWare demo phones automatically dim the screen when they sense that they have been moved close to your ear during a call. But with this one, we have taken the idea much further. Are you ready for it?”

“You already have my undivided attention,” says DeVito, at once.

“Well, get a grip on your seats, then. You see this? There are two LCD screens, front and rear. LaziMova contains a three-axis accelerometer to measure its motion in 3D, and 72 sensors across its surface to track the position of your fingers. We have tested the prototype on dozens of users. They were asked to pick it up several times. They were holding it each time in turn as if it were a remote control, handheld computer, camera, games controller, or mobile phone. We found patterns in the way these different users held the gadget, and their grips gave us clues about what they expected the device to do.”

“And the screens?” you ask. “They change too?”

“That’s right, Papyrus. Those tests were used to program our soap bar to guess what was expected of it and respond appropriately by presenting an interface tailored for that function. So, for example, when held as a camera, the LCD screens display a camera mode.”

“That’s cool,” says DeVito, trying out various grips on the pod. “Ah, so now we have a camera, and now … a phone. LaziMova’s a quick-change chameleon!”

“So it is, indeed, Danny. And what’s more, for the best results you can get LaziMova to be trained to recognize your specific personal grips. You know, there are variations across users. If trained on one person, it correctly ‘guesses’ which mode to enter 95 percent of the time. That figure drops to around 70 percent for the general population.”

“A soap bar that learns to adapt to its owner’s style?” you say.

“Ha, Papyrus, you said it,” says Asimova, pleased. “We are convinced that grip-recognition could be implemented as a useful user interface. Touch-skins and accelerometers are already widely used in these little devices, but by combining the two to detect your intended actions is what we have done to leap ahead.”

“A smart pod. And what else do you have?”

“Well, the vision thing. Literally. You know that plastic contact lenses these days are everywhere, and not just for improving eyesight. They can also be tinted, for people who wish to change the colour of their eyes. But we have much more in our idea-chest.”

“And what would that be?”

“Well, we will be putting electronics into it. Light-emitting diodes, or LEDs, for ‘on-eye’ displays. Transistors for computing. A radio for wireless communication. And an antenna for collecting power from a radio source, such as a mobile phone, in your pocket.”

“Ooh! And I thought I was the advanced humanoid around here,” says DeVito, glumly.

“Of course you are, dear,” says Asimova, soothingly. “All that we have in LaziLooka is a little smartness packed into your eye. What the display will show, of course, is up to your imagination—the name, perhaps, of someone you have met but do not recall, or the street directions in an unfamiliar city.”

“Now I see it all,” you sigh. “A LaziMova in my hand that will turn into any device I can think of without my having to press any button and a LaziLooka in my eye that would pull up directories and maps to boost my fading memory.”

“Hey, Papyrus. We humanoids have news for you. It’s the future, and we’re there!”