Humour

Breaking the blogger’s block

Help is at hand for those afflicted by the blogger’s block, writes T A Balasubramanian

It is not often that Doodh Byramji, known as plain Doodh, is caught in a traffic jam. But today, the cheerful IT research engineer at Baffle Technologies (Baff-Tech for short) sits in his car, wondering if he will ever get moving. Finally, several hours late, he lands up for his meeting with Groucho Goose, Manager, Slinky Marketing Strategy for Confusing Clients, from Duckbill & Goose.

They are, as usual, seated at Quick Sip, the arty restaurant frequented by the technorati.

Dear Diary (notes Byramji, with his usual attention to detailed reporting):

“So you were caught in traffic?” asks Groucho, calmly taking a sip of espresso coffee.

“That’s right, Groucho,” I say apologetically, ordering my green tea. “Being stuck in an immobile line of cars is a terrible experience.”

“I know. But do you notice that millions of people are stuck in another kind of virtual jam these days?”

“I cannot imagine what that would be,” I confess.

“Ah, permit me to elaborate, Doodh. “You observe that it has never been easier to express yourself in public? Whatever you might want to say, the online tools to let you say it to a—hypothetically worldwide—audience are innumerable. Say it long, say it short, say what you want, when you want and how often you want. As the title of a forthcoming book about blog culture puts it: ‘Say Everything.’ You have the technology. The only thing the technology cannot do is solve this problem—what if you don’t really have anything to express? For instance, have you been writing on your blog lately? I know you started one a year ago.”

“Well, not really. I found that it is daunting—even scary—when I have to figure out what to put on a big chunk of blog—day after day.”

“There you have your virtual jam. Blogger’s block. The affliction that all writers have dreaded for ages. While everyone starts off a blog with great enthusiasm, after a while, it gets tiresome to do, right?”

“Yes, yes, I can see that,” I say with a wry shake of my head. “With blogs, you have all this frightful blank space to fill, and this intense pressure to keep it going. I stopped after three months.”

“Well, Doodh, I too, am, obviously, a big devotee of blogging, which is why I write two blogs quite regularly. I use, and sometimes say kind things about the microblogging culture, as you know from our earlier chats.”

“Quite so, Groucho,” I concur. “But how on earth do you manage to keep going on two blogs? Why is blogger’s block evading you, but hanging around my neck?”

“Ah, I have a secret weapon on my side. Blinky.”

“Blinky?”

“Yes. It is an idea-seeding site. Blinky will help people afflicted with blogger’s block to ‘unblock’ by creating ‘inspired content,’—which means Blinky provides the inspiration. The site exists specifically to offer what it calls ticklers—questions or suggestions meant to trigger interesting thoughts to share with the world. If you don’t have anything to say on your blog, Blinky will prompt you and help you make something up. You get users responding to the ticklers, and you can feed their answers to your own blog.”

“Isn’t that cheating? I mean, borrowing other people’s ideas to put into your blog?”

“Not really. All that you are doing is dutiful reporting, except that what you are creating your ‘news’ and adding your own spin to it with a little help from a lot of willing ‘sources’ that Blinky has conveniently invited into the Web.”

“Ah. As in ‘Come into my parlor, said the spider to the fly,’ eh?”

“You are wildly imaginative, Doodh. Blogging is no easy task for the millions of would-be ‘regular’ bloggers—or should we say ‘sloggers’—out there, all willing to chatter—if someone is ready to hear them. Look at you—wondering what you should be chattering about. You are struggling with what to put out there—‘Do I talk about personal things? Do I talk about work? What do I do?’ And here you find in Blinky, the very chatter that you seek.”

“But then, Groucho—Blinky is spawning chatter without sense.”

“So? When did the multitude of bloggers strive to make sense? This is like throwing a cocktail party, getting the conversation going, then encouraging your guests to dash out in the open and spread their drunken chatter. Except that in this case, what people are drunk on is the promise of ‘social media marketing’ and ‘building your personal brand’.”

“What happened to originality and the thoughtful sharing of one’s wisdom? Isn’t that what blogs were designed for?”

“Oh, please. Are you serious? Originality became obsolete almost as soon as the Internet was up and running. The Web is about presenting your own painted version of the entire world’s borrowed compositions, Doodh. So what if you take some help from the cosmetic specialists?”

“And Blinky does that too?”

“Of course. Not only does Blinky offer help with what to post to your empty blog—it also helps your responses look good in the process. Depending on the tickler, answers contain rich media elements like maps, photos, lists and cover art for books, movies and albums. Just inform Blinky that you use a particular blogging platform, and presto, all your answers posted through Blinky can zip right into your blog, in style.”

“Impressive, Groucho. Substance and style, all wrapped in one sizzling package?”

“What are you waiting for? Get to your blogging station now. Your last excuse to let your blog lie fallow has been blown!”