Manage-Wise

The need for intimacy

Intimacy makes people feel connected. It’s the basic human need to belong.

Back in your childhood, you may have belonged to a club that had a secret handshake. Just knowing that handshake made you feel that you were a part of the group. That handshake was the “intimacy” factor that made you feel connected. There was something special that only members could do or know.

In you work life, a need for intimacy means feeling a part of a team and being connected to those around us. When this need goes unmet, you feel alone and disconnected. Without intimacy, you morph into a set of hands punching a clock. If you don’t feel connected to others, you come to work each day, but you leave your heart at home. You disengage.

Going the geese way

Next fall, when you see geese heading south for the winter, flying along in V formation, you might consider what science has discovered about why they fly that way. As each bird flaps its wings, it creates an uplift for the bird immediately following. By flying in V information, the whole flock adds at least 71 percent greater flying range than it would have if each bird flew alone.

People who share a common direction and sense of community can get where they are going more quickly and easily because they are traveling on the thrust of one another. When a goose falls out of formation, it suddenly feels the drag and resistance of trying to go it alone and quickly gets back into formation to take advantage of the lifting power of the bird in front of it.

When the head goose gets tired, it rotates back in the formation, and another goose flies point. It is sensible to take turns doing demanding jobs, whether with people or with geese flying south.

Geese honk from behind to encourage those up front to keep up their speed. We all need encouragement along life’s journey.

Finally, when a goose gets sick or is wounded by gunshot and falls out of formation, two other geese fall out with that goose and follow it down to lend help and protection. They stay with the fallen goose until it is able to fly or until it dies; and only then do they launch out on their own, or with another formation to catch up with their group.

Nothing we achieve in this world is achieved alone. It is always achieved with others helping us along the way. If we use the approach of the goose, we will stand by each other. Geese are defined by how they stay connected to one another. Engaging leaders and high-performing teams are defined the same way. Both strategies to fulfill the need for intimacy are based on building relationships and close connections, and your team should be the focal point for developing these connections.

From reading this except from Google Corporation’s website, it is clear that the company’s leaders understand the importance of meeting the need for intimacy.

Google is not a conventional company, and we don’t intend to become one. True, we share attributes with the world’s most successful organizations—a focus on innovation and smart business practices comes to mind—but even as we continue to grow, we are committed to retaining a small-company feel. At Google, we know that every employee has something important to say, and that every employee is integral to our success.

Maintain a sense of smallness

Our coworkers and immediate supervisor significantly influence how we relate to and feel about our organization. This is because the smallest team is where the closest relationships are developed. Close connections are more likely to be sustained on smaller teams. Small terms allow for more intimacy between employees and customers (internal or external) and among team members. As organizations grow, more layers are naturally created between the customer and the top executive. This expanding hierarchy inhibits a team’s speed, responsiveness, and real-time understanding of customer needs. This results in diminished ability to deliver good, fast service to customers. Additionally, as teams expand, employees may not only find it harder to keep their fingers on the pulse of the customer but they may also find it harder to stay connected with other team members.

In the early years of BMC Software, for example, teams were small—from administration to product development. Everybody knew everyone, and it was simple to keep the corporate goal in sight. As the organization grew from slightly over 200 to more than 6,000 workers, this “intimacy” disappeared as teams got bigger and bigger. Unfortunately those employees who needed smaller groups dropped by the way-side. Those who didn’t need those close connections continued their careers there. Why was the intimacy lost at BMC, even as it became more successful and stock prices climbed?

Going big—the flipside

As organizations grow, most of the time (but not always) they become more bureaucratic. The organization, as it grows larger, needs larger staff functions to handle administrative functions. Some bureaucracy, of course, is essential, and administrative procedures can often help improve organizational efficiency. That said, when it comes to engaging the heart, even large, worldwide organizations depend on local leaders to build connections and foster intimacy.

On smaller teams, people generally feel more connected, more informed, and more part of the big picture. Close connections are more likely to be sustained on smaller teams, and these connections extend from the team members to their customers. That’s why Microsoft keeps its development teams at around 12 members—to foster close connections with their customers. That’s also why Amazon invokes the “two pizza rule.” If you cannot feed a team with two pizzas, then the team is too big.

Small teams also facilitate deeper relationships within the teams. People want to feel that they have “family” at work. The more employees feel those familylike emotional attachments to their coworkers and the organization, the more emotionally engaged they will be. They will help each other and take care of each other at work—and often beyond work. Some other advantages of small teams include: establishes a higher sense of mutual accountability and commitment (minimized diffusion of responsibility); keeps team members closer to customers and their needs; improves team agility; facilities knowledge of all team functions (good beach strength) so that each team member fully understands and internalizes the team’s purpose.

Excerpt from ‘Engaging the Hearts and Minds of all your Employees’ by Lee J Colan. Reproduced with permission © 2009, Tata McGraw-Hill Publishing Company Limited. Price: Rs 295.