Humour

The virtual trade show

T A Balasubramanian on the state-of-the-art exhibition space

Back inside the pulsating environment of the Techno Over-exposition of Geeks and Gizmos for Lazy Enterprises (TOGGLE), you Papyrus Bytewala, CIO of Baffle Corporation, and Danny DeVito, your CTO at Baffle, are cornered and subjected to a new sales pitch.

The abductor is, of course, Nawab Ghoda Ghallstone Junior, the irrepressible founder and CEO of Ghallstone Labs. With customary flamboyance, he is dressed in a purple sherwani, with a matching turban that sports a brilliant green button.

“Hello, hello, my friends. It is indeed a pleasure to bring to you my latest invention. You will be glad to know that the era of big bustling physical trade shows such as this one is about to come to a grinding halt.”

“Ah, nabob, you are actually retiring from this circus?” says DeVito,

“Ha, ha. Of course not, Danny. The show must go on! But here’s what I can tell you—when you next visit me, you do not have to wake up before dawn to make it through airport security. You do not have to sit on a plane next to a crying baby or an armrest hog. You would have experienced no aching feet from standing and walking around the aisles and staircases all day. You will have no slumping shoulders from lugging an ever-expanding carry bag from booth to booth.”

“What? No airline passenger horror story to share? No sore feet after trudging through miles of similar displays and spiels by exhausted salesmen? What kind of trade show would that be?” you say, indignantly.

“A virtual trade show, Papyrus!” beams the nawab. “Imagine being able to go to an exposition without ever leaving your office cabin, or if you like, even your home. You could even attend in your pajamas, if you want.”

“You must be joking, nabob,” says DeVito, with wide-eyed disbelief.

“Well, Danny, let me show you our demo.”

He proceeds to switch on a projection system and a screen opens up on the rear of the small space that is earmarked for Ghallstone Labs.

“Sit back and enjoy the show! You recall Avatar Baba, our friendly genie from Ghallstone Virtual Magic? Well, he is back again this time, and what he will be showing you is a state-of-the-art exhibition space created entirely from pixels,” he booms.

On the projected screen, the familiar roly-poly character holding a golden lamp appears.

“What you will enter, escorted by our visitor-friendly guide, Avatar Baba, is an artificial 3D trade show universe, created to look exactly like actual trade show exhibition halls. In contrast to our first generation virtual worlds such as Mimic, our virtual trade shows are much more professional—created specifically for business honchos such as Baffle.”

“Everything would be like the real show, eh?”

“Everything, of course,” says the nawab, jauntily. “You will be able to register yourself as an avatar and make your computer mouse walk you through the virtual environment. Industry bigwigs—or rather, their pixel personalities—will give the usual keynote speeches and host sessions just as they would at a regular trade show. You can upload a picture; attend pre-recorded or live sessions, all from your laptop, without moving your feet. You will be free to ‘walk’ around a virtual exhibit floor and saunter into rooms where there are presentations and discussion panels going on.”

“Hmm. But what about the lively chat with extra-friendly booth representatives?” you ask.

“Sure thing, Papyrus. We make sure your favourite face-to-face networking mode will not be lost in the virtual haze. If you want to ask questions, you can ‘wave’ a symbolic hand and speak into an instant-messaging—or IM—chat bubble, just as in the Mimics virtual-reality game. You can walk your avatar around an exhibit floor and glide up to any exhibitor to discuss anything you like through the IM box.”

“Can I try it out, nabob?” says DeVito, evidently smitten by the prospect of becoming an avatar.

“Sure. Here you are,” says the nawab, giving DeVito a laptop with the Ghallstone Lab logo. The screen is flashing an invitation to ‘Visit GOGGLE by clicking here,’ written next to a red button.

“What is GOGGLE?” you ask.

“Well, Papyrus, in honour of this exalted show venue which we have been visiting for years, we have named our unreal version GOGGLE—short for Ghallstone’s Over-exposition of Geeks and Gizmos for Lazy Enterprises.”

“All right, nabob, let’s get this thing going, shall we?”

“So you go online and chose your avatar, Danny—your digital-world likeness, if you will. All right, so you choose to be … a camel? Very well, as you wish—so there you go.”

Much to DeVito’s delight, a cartoon camel with the name ‘Danny’ pops up on the screen.

“So here you start touring the virtual trade show floor with some fellow attendees—there is an alligator, a dog, a wizard, a toothless shark, an angry-looking pig and several people who are actually using their own images—well, what I assume are their own images.”

Danny’s camel avatar stops by the first booth and watches a presentation. The representative behind the booth must have been trying to greet him via instant message, as an IM window on the computer pops up. Danny responds with a quick ‘Hi,’ and gets a blank screen in response.

“Hey, why is he speechless, nabob?”

“Maybe he doesn’t like camels, Danny,” you say, soothingly.

The nawab breaks into a loud laugh. “Or maybe he wanted a break. Anyway, for those attending at times when a live chat is not ongoing, there will be a ‘most frequently asked’ archives available. Or maybe there is a bug in the IM module,” says the nawab. “This is a beta site, but we will get it fixed soon.”

“There are just 15 exhibitors, nabob? That would be a disaster if you had it in real life.”

“Oh, we do not want to crowd the virtual world, Danny. The less the merrier, we say—and since you get concentrated marketing attention from fewer people, you might actually decide to try out their wares, rather than just go about collecting goodies from hundreds of booths. Quality, we think is preferable to quantity.”

“You know, nabob, when we came into this hall, I was drawn to a few booths by the scent of freshly made popcorn and flavored coffee,” says DeVito. “Then there was a stall where I was invited to ‘play a hand of poker’ and win a free book. Another company had a nimble-fingered magician drawing a crowd. Of course, I picked up a few free pens along the way.”

“Ah, Danny, be patient. Our software needs time to bring reality down to silicon. You will see all these coming up soon on GOGGLE with Avatar Baba playing genial host. A year from now, games and wizards and freebies will be offered for your entertainment. Popcorn and coffee could be a little later on, but we have these things in mind, too.”

“You are incorrigible, nawab,” you say. “When I move around in the flesh here, I meet people. I make connections. People here are bonding, sharing ideas and comparing strategies. Vendors encourage me to try out their products. You do not get these with Avatar Baba, cute though he is when he flies.”

“Hmm, maybe not yet, Papyrus. I admit that there isn’t as much excitement about the event, and yes, most of the presentations have been all about pushy marketing. We are working very closely with a 3D developer to improve the level of reality—so the sales guys will be made more affable and the products will leap off the screen. I can promise you that the overall experience will become more immersive, interactive and enjoyable.”