Humour

Swaying to the Old Order

T A Balasubramanian on why it is so painfully hard to deliver any particular message to the Gen Y natives

So we are back for another session of outrageous advice blended with tangential stories, conjured up by the inimitable Dr Don Jong, as he continues probing patiently into the worrisome world of Bobo Jitter, the CIO of Bazooka Corporation. Dr Jong, known to his friends simply The Oddfather—because of the devious insights he offers—is, nevertheless, an unrelenting explorer of technology’s dusty by lanes.

“Hmm, Bobo, you seem to be too—how do I put it?—‘grandly bent with the burden of heavy thoughts,’ today eh? So what is so preoccupying your head?” says Dr Jong, smiling as he lights up his pipe.

“It is this business of becoming a hip and brash new avatar—a Bluetooth fairy, as you put it last week—in order to appeal to Neo Tinker and the new generation of digital natives,” says Bobo, walking around nervously. “It is not that I want to remain a ‘mainframe relic’ as Generation Y, or ‘Gen Y’ people tend to call me, Doc. It is just that I find it absurd to behave in ways that do not seem natural for my age. Whatever happened to the plain old notion of just letting change happen and being oneself—a little crusty and dusty, no doubt—but nevertheless comfortable in my old technology boots?”

“Ah, I thought you would say that. Of course, we all like the old order to continue, don’t we?”

“Indeed, Doc. It’s too unsettling to jettison everything whenever there is a wave of new technology that floats in.”

“Of course it is. But to put your fears to rest, maybe you should know that the traditional values and common sense that have served us well in the past will be relevant in this new world, too. So let me pull back the oars and turn the boat around for you.”

“Ah, that’s a relief.”

“Gen Y does not like to be persuaded, Bobo, in the obvious ways that Gen X has been doing it. If you are not a product of Gen Y, you cannot communicate with them. No matter how clever you may think you are, do not even try. As a designated ‘relic,’ Neo Tinker and Gen Y does not hold you in high regard—they know that your job is to ooze into their personal space and shake up the ongoing party that they celebrate in the informality of Web 2.0 social networks like Facehook and Meowspace. A large and ponderous company recently tried to enter the social networking boom town by creating a blog that was intended to ‘strategically’ talk teens, and I am told that that it sank like the Titanic, without a trace.”

“And why did that happen?”

“Well, it was largely due to the site being designed by people from a different planet who did not understand the natives and did not know how to speak in their native tongue.”

“So if I do not reach Neo Tinker at all, what do I do?”

“Maybe you cannot reach him by trying to fly under his radar, but you can surely rely on Neo to remain distracted by the lure of the digital excess around, you know.”

“What does that mean, Doc?”

“If you observe, the Gen Y tribe is actually doing very little to change the Internet since they are so utterly immersed in it with no single point of focus—all that they do is to sample a tiny bit of everything—like butterflies flitting from one flower to another. Watching a Gen Y native in his digital web is an exhausting experience—I know because I do this with my teenage son. He will listen to an iPod, watch TV, text message from a cell phone and check in on a Facehook page—all at once.”

“So there’s nothing to reach out with?”

“Exactly. This makes it painfully hard to deliver any particular message to Neo. On the other hand, while this frantic multi-tasking mania is impressive, you don’t have to follow the same curve in order to impress Neo. All that it means is that he is racing through far too much information to absorb or retain anything with depth or understanding. In and out, but nowhere to stop and grow.”

“So there is no important message that they would miss, anyway?”

“Absolutely none. Besides, it will please you to comprehend that Gen Y mainly generates and consumes phenomenal little packets of useless content. One study by Duckbill & Goose reports that text messaging for Gen Y is often little more than the tapping out of Morse code—the creation and reading of quick status updates, much like what is found on social networking tools like Twitter. Even the wordiest messages are usually trivial and under 40 words—making it difficult for you to slip through the cracks without looking like a spammer or creating the impression of being an intruder. That is, if you have the urge to whittle down your communication to Neo to such a telegraphic level in order to befriend him.”

“Well, Doc, it seems that most of us from the mainframe era are decades away from being on anything like common ground with these users.”

“Ah, you see? So it is premature to fear that you are being cut off from something that you cannot afford to miss.”

“Well, Doc, I see a lot of CIOs of my generation immediately turning pale, wild-eyed and fearful when they hear a Web 2.0 tribe member spouting terms like RSS, social networking, user-generated content, and so on. It’s the same with me.”

“Ah, but no doubt you will quickly learn that by throwing these buzzwords around in front of Gen Y, you would sound like a voice from another galaxy—not a useful bridge to build if you want to get them working energetically on your next project. And these very same Gen Y kids are the future managers and executives at Bazooka.”

“And I will need these kids to fill senior positions, even faster than you may realize because large droves of us will retire or start working part-time in the very near future. So what do I do, Doc? I mean, Neo and I cannot co-exist with extreme dissent like perilous creatures parked in parallel universes, can we?”

“Oh, surely we can do better than that, Bobo. What if you were to be so far ‘out’ of the circle that you would be considered ‘in’ it by default? Try re-branding yourself to Gen Y.”

“Uh, what do you mean, Doc?”

“The hard reality is that as a wizened old IT veteran, you battle workplace branding all the time. Branding is not only about selling soap or salad dressing—it is about the core of who you are and the experience you have with others. To Gen Y, you could be still acceptable as an ancient geek—a little jaded, no doubt, but still part of the grand IT circus—provided you change your brand image.”

“And how do I do that?”

“By thinking of your ‘mainframe relic’ workplace self as a retro brand. Something that has ancient ‘chic’ value—like an antique.”

“Well, thanks, Doc. That is so complimentary. Should I take that with a pinch of salt and turn into a pickle?”

“Ah, Bobo, you take umbrage, eh? Branding is all about how you project yourself. Make Neo think of you as the ‘guy who has seen core dumps and assembly language.’ The guy who actually knows what the inside of a computer looks like. That’s an awesome brand image to project to Gen Y.”