Humour

Charge of the young nerds

Deep knowledge of technology is what brings nerds to life, writes T A Balasubramanian

As he gears up for delivering his unique blend of audacious advice and loopy wisdom, we are back listening in on a session with Dr Don Jong, fondly called the ‘Oddfather’ because of the unusual fixes he offers. The subject of his attention, of course, is the eternally perplexed Bobo Jitter, the CIO of Bazooka Corporation. And Dr Jong, as we know, loves to grapple with technology’s quizzical frontiers with a zeal that few in the profession of psychiatry can hope to match.

“So why the long face, Bobo? What’s bugging the CIO space this time?”

“I was at a seminar on the subject of ‘Sweeping Changes in IT’ last week, and it came as a bit of a shock to me. According to the technologist and futurist, Dr Dusty Duckbill of the venerable consulting firm, Duckbill & Goose, young bright people with a technical bent of mind—or nerds, as they are called—are proving to be a disruptive force in the enterprise which will bring about the demise of the IT department as we know it today.”

“And what caused the venerable Dr Duckbill to make such an assertion, my boy?”

“Well, he observed that belligerent young nerds are pulling technology up and pushing at the boundaries of it’s uses—and for that reason, he says, they are incredibly powerful inside any company. He notes that because of their fluent use of a number of technologies and their abilities to multitask and share information, they are likely to be more technically agile and open to fresh ideas.”

“All very good, so far. But how will that bring about the ‘demise of IT’ as we know it?”

“I’m coming to that. Dr Duckbill observes that the tech-savvy young nerd brigades of the future will no longer need or want the usual type of IT support. ‘I can guarantee that the young nerds coming into your company know more than the IT department,’ he states bluntly. It seems that they do not want to be told by an IT department which hardware and software they can and cannot use. That’s like telling me and my teams to go out to pasture, Doc. I mean, much of what we do is related to deciding what IT assets should go where, when and to whom.”

“Hmm. Did he offer any soothing alternate scenarios for the elderly IT managers to cling to?”

“Well, not exactly soothing. He suggested that we proceed with utmost delicacy and decorum, and learn to become a little humble and submissive in the interactions with the nerd brigades. He believes that to get the most out of these youngsters, older managers must learn from them and not impose too rigid a structure on them.”

“Very interesting. Did he give any instance of how this has been found to work?

“Yes, he cites the example of one enterprise where there is a virtual happy declaration of independence from the IT department. Here, it seems, tech-savvy workers are given an ‘allowance’ to spend on IT in exchange for giving up the right to tech support—a scheme that was apparently received with enthusiasm.”

“So, on the basis of this case, he presumes that all IT departments are now on the way to early extinction?”

“More or less, yes. His argument is that people need support, but they do not need an authoritative controlling force from within the company as if the average employee is a technologically handicapped zombie. He says that if we empower people and lay out what’s expected of them in a non-intrusive way, they will rise to the challenge.”

“And what role does he sees for the IT department when they become non-intrusive bystanders?”

“Ah, he forecasts that traditional IT staff will not disappear altogether. He thinks we will have to change what we do. For example, instead of deciding what IT assets to deploy, we may have to learn to create harmless business models that may or may not impact the company’s direction. ‘If IT does not do that, who will?’ he asks.

“Hmm. Who, indeed? Anything else that Dr Duckbill has upset?”

“Yes. He upset my self-image as a person who acts carefully, after much deliberation and rationalization. He urges CIOs to think like young, reckless business leaders. He wants us to adopt the happy mindset of ‘anything and everything goes’ in order to make our companies incurably innovative. And for that, he recommends that we employ herds of young nerds.”

“Ah. That is good—herds of young nerds?”

“Yes, Doc. He explains that IT project failures have happened because companies have been derisive about the role of the techies, or ‘nerds’ over the last 30 years. He says that he is appalled that managers thought that they did not need to employ nerds or even understand technology in order to manage it. He points out that deep knowledge of IT is what nerds bring to life. And he also notes that outstanding young ‘nerds’—such as Grill Bates—have gone ahead to become the richest and most influential people on the planet over the past three decades.”

“Ah, Dr Duckbill is wise, no doubt, in the ways of the young, but I wonder if he is wise about the ways of the old, Bobo.”

“Why do you say that, Doc?”

“Let me assure you that IT departments will not be taken over by nerds any time soon.”

“Whew! That’s a relief, Doc. How can you be sure?”

“Well, Bobo, with the exception of a few bright sparks, the majority of them have no idea what they are talking about when it comes to IT. They certainly know nothing about business impact and responsibility. Important decisions in IT—such as security and backup, mundane though they seem when compared to MP3 downloads—have to be made by people that know what they are talking about, not brash, disobedient and arrogant upstarts who ‘think’ they know what they are talking about. If that were to happen, you might as well let your Marketing Chief, Brando Bhatt and his sales teams make strategic IT decisions.”

“Ha, that’s right Doc. So we old grizzly IT veterans are still in business at Bazooka, eh?”

“Yes, but not quite in the same way, Bobo. The idea that a generation of young nerds will negate the need for an IT department is absurd. However, there’s a whole new door opening up for you. While you do not have to play host immediately to the ‘herds of nerds’ that Dr Duckbill is so fond of, you need a game plan to have them on your side. Because the young and the reckless are out there waiting and ready to change the world. So think about it.”

“Maybe they can help me create new business models which include social networking or music downloads. Maybe we will hand over some part of the help desk to an IT Jockey who can play soothing tunes when a user calls in with a complaint. Who knows?”

“Voila, you comprehend! And while you are at it, maybe you could have Dr Duckbill come over and make a few notes for his next seminar on the ‘Resurrection of the IT Department’ eh?”