Humour

The strategist awakens

T A Balasubramanian on why a CIO does not want to be known as ‘the maintenance man’ but as a corporate strategist

Back in action after a vacation, Dr Don Jong has lost none of his spunk and irreverence, handing out clods of wayward wisdom and eccentric stories. Here he is, in a new session, untangling the twists and knots that he finds in the queasy head of Bobo Jitter, the CIO of Bazooka Company. Called ‘The Oddfather’ because of the rakish advice he usually offers, Dr Jong is a familiar mover and shaker in the inner world of IT and its serpentine practices.

“It’s been a long time … so what new worry dances across your horizon now, Bobo?” says Dr Jong, with a twinkle in his eye.

“It’s good to see you this perky Doc. I have been fuming inside lately, mainly because of a nasty remark made about me in the last meeting at Bazooka.”

“Ah, so we have exposed nerves being touched, eh? And what was the … unsavory observation that so riles you?”

“Fin Fina, our wonderful Head of Finance, let it be known to all the assembled gentry that he thought I was incapable of being a strategic business head. He said CIOs cannot be strategists.”

“Oh? And that petty swipe has made you see red?”

“Hardly petty, Doc. It is so rotten, unjust and intolerable. It’s not just Fina and some CFOs who think this way. If there is a headache for CIOs these days, it is that their technology background gives most business people the perception that all CIOs are incapable of being strategists.”

“Why is that perception important to you?”

“Why? Come on Doc, it is an outrageous attitude that locks me out of the upper echelons of board rooms and senior committee meetings that drag on for days. As a CIO, am I not entitled to be closeted in the hushed corridors of power rather than being tagged as the maintenance man who is responsible for keeping the system up and running?”

“Hmm. It depends. But what do you suppose the strategy

makers do all day? They fill up chambers, have boring meetings and dream up future scenarios—so why would that interest you?”

“But don’t you see, Doc? It is not what they actually do—it’s about what the rest of Bazooka looks up to. That is where the main chance lies for me to be noticed by anyone that matters. That’s where the moolah is. Besides, it is a lofty perch from where I can get to swing or even claw my way up the hierarchy—depending on which kind of animal I turn into. I want to be a mover and shaker too, when the big battles are being planned in the vast upper chambers that Mr Bazooka occupies. I want to be sitting in during those long boring sessions, doodling on my personalized notepad in the hallowed halls where they dream up future scenarios and sharpen their claws to ward away predatory moves by competitors.”

“Ah, the call of the corporate jungle has gotten to you, I see. But I also comprehend that you have a serious positioning problem, Bobo.”

“What positioning problem?”

“It’s all about perception. I could give you some examples of people who, unlike Fin Fina, have outgrown that perception, but I think the general snobbery of the elderly non-technology maven towards the CIO, is a real and present nuisance. I have even come across a few heads of companies who think, oddly enough, like Fin Fina. These folks tend to refer, rather patronizingly, to the CIO as ‘the computer fellow,’ ‘our network mechanic,’ or ‘the techie who writes code.’ Now, even though you may actually do these things as part of your job, it is, as we know, as misleading as it would be to say that a CFO is a ‘number cruncher’ or a ‘book-keeper’ or a ‘bean counter,’—except perhaps when the party in question is nowhere around, and that too, only for the ears of those who do not tattle.”

“So what do I do, Doc?”

“Well, Bobo, deflating your antagonist is one of the most common ways to regain lost ground. However, in your case, it will not do to call Fin Fina a rotten egg, even if you sincerely think so. That way lies unending debate, mostly of the hot variety that leaves no room for reconciliation. Besides, it would not make a suitable impression on your CEO, I presume, who might be inclined to consider your response somewhat hot-headed—maybe even irrational.”

“Of course he would, Doc. Perish the thought. If I called Fina a ‘rotten’ anything to his face, I would be out on the road in a flash with a mouse cord around my neck.”

“Precisely—it is too risky to snare the monkey when you are exposed yourself. What we need is a sneak attack that would surround the monkey slowly and enfold him in a gradually tighter noose that he cannot detect until it is too late.”

“You talk in riddles, Doc.”

“Ah, let me expand on my scheme. So it is time to purify the air. To correct the smoky picture.  You begin by making it clear that what you do already is a critical and heavy-duty function that reeks of strategy. How about this: ‘As a CIO, you essentially bridge the communication barrier, knowledge, and strategic gap between the many otherwise isolated nabobs of Bazooka who require technology—whether they realize it or not—to solve business problems.’  Does that not convey what you do with—shall we say—more aplomb?”

“Sounds good, Doc. Though we may need something a little less edgy than ‘nabob’ I would say.”

“But we will. Now the key to make the strategy guys wake up is always to hammer home your ability for big-picture thinking.”

“And how do I do that?”

“You could say that ‘The CIO is a strategic position because it requires big-picture thinking, and the ability to quickly and effectively identify broken processes in the corporate grid where technology can be integrated to improve efficiency and the bottom line.’ Or better yet, ‘to drive new business and capture market share.’ Driving new business and capturing market share is really what makes a CEO sit up and listen, and I guess Mr Bazooka would do that too.”

“Hey, Doc. But I thought the CIO was the head of the IT department?”

“Which of course, he is. What you need to harp on is the ‘strategic’ angle. Say, ‘the IT department is a strategic platform, responsible for marshalling  the daily technical demands of employees, driving new technology or architecting new services in response to a business challenge. Then, again, IT is a brain bank where a CIO can contribute strategy—because it requires a heavy dose of business intelligence and market awareness.’ And as CIO, you direct the destiny of your functional managers in IT to implement solutions that delight current and future users. So Bazooka still needs each ‘business challenge’ to be cornered and tamed only by you, an IT operational strategy wizard who masterminds the department.”

“Amazing, Doc. That makes me sound like a strategy guru already.”

“And it’s just the metaphorical knock on the head you can expect to get Fin Fina grounded speechless in the next meeting, eh?”