Humour

Generation conflict

T A Balasubramanian on the battle between conservative and radical CIOs.

Tumbling onward into the mixed-up inner world of Bobo Jitter—the permanently challenged and ever-hopeful CIO of Bazooka Company—Dr Don Jong presides sagely over another curative session lathered with his usual tangential tirades and lofty tales drawn from every imaginable source. Called ‘The Oddfather’ because of the wacky wisdom that he happily manufactures, Dr Jong has a special affinity for probing into the arcane mysteries of computer technology and it’s varied human tribals.

“Well Doc, if I may point out, one of the most pressing matters that is depressing for CIOs is one that weighs heavily on me.”

“And what, if I may ask is this—ah, pressing and depressing—matter?”

“It is, to put it simply, a battle presently being fought between two tribes of CIOs. Some may cite generational conflict as the primary conflict in CIO-ship today. On the one hand are the Conservative CIOs—baby-boomer tribes representing traditional knowledge of computing science as well as practical knowledge, and, on the other, there are the Radical CIOs—the Generation X tribes representing an easy-going, lazy familiarity with technology, with no scholarship but great dexterity with keyboards and mice.”

“Hmm, there is some truth to that picture, Bobo. There is the generation gap between the haughty tribes of Elders and the jaunty New-Comers, as always, and maybe it is true of all professions and all ages. But if you ask me, when it comes to IT, it is primarily a distraction from the real conflict.”

“Ah, you have me there, Doc.  What is the real conflict?”

“That conflict, I submit, is the battle between geeks and nerds.”

“Come on Doc. Geek or nerd, what’s the difference?”

“Well, let me assure you that there is a definite difference, my boy. In fact there is virtually no overlap between the two groups, although there are a few characteristics in common. I will summarise the traits of geeks and nerds for you. I may offend some people in doing it, but if you want to make an omelette, you have to break some eggs.”

“Ah, Doc, I am always willing to be a trained in the culinary arts.”

“So here it is, Bobo. The typical traits of a geek are—he, or she, is very techie, identifies with science and is into science fiction, fantasy, and cyberpunk literature. May be possibly very interested in live action role playing games and in graphic novels or even comics. Certainly knows how to program a computer and does it often. Most likely has a personal blog, and is engrossed in popular culture. But the geek may or may not have done well in school.”

“That is a near-perfect description of my project leader, El Gizmo.”

“On the other hand, the typical traits of a nerd are—he or she reads a lot: philosophy, serious literature, science, history, academic subjects. Is unusually excited, passionate, worried or earnest about intellectual matters that most people find boring or irrelevant. Would have got top grades in school. A nerd is not interested in popular culture, except possibly in a truly anthropological sense. And, ah—they are prone to injuries associated with excessive or intense reading—especially from small LCD screens.”

“Oh, come on Doc—that sounds like me. Surely, you are making this up?”

“Ah, Bobo, I do not make things up, as you well know. But let me finish what I started—both nerds and geeks have some well-observed common traits—they are bad dancers, and bad at all kinds of physical sports. And lastly, they often have trouble getting into a relationship even with other geeks or nerds.”

“Well, that does match what I know, but when you put it so starkly, it seems that we have one more divided world to deal with.”

“Of course, now you may recognise in my description of a nerd some of the characteristics of a stereotypical conservative CIO. In fact, the old generation CIOs—the Elders of the Tribe, so to speak—are traditionally quite nerdy.”

“Maybe so, Doc. But this has recently changed, however, as a result of an aggressive advance by the new generation of CIOs—the geek tribe, to use your convenient classification—within the profession.”

“Ah, what you describe is indeed the ascendancy of youth power.  It is possible that with younger people moving faster up the corporate hierarchy—and the increase in flatter hierarchies—it is not so clear whether CIOs, especially younger CIOs, are typically nerds, as perhaps they would become eventually if they were to age gracefully like you and gently assume the mantle of a manager—or whether they are wet-behind-the-ear geeks, as the more radical characteristics of the cool and ‘uber cyber’ generation kick in.”

“Well, Doc, you may have a point there. At this juncture, I must confess that I myself am a patriotic member of the elder nerd tribe. I think CIO-ship is an intellectual profession. I think scholarly knowledge of computer science is more important than keyboard-and-mouse familiarity with technology in our ability to serve users. We have an obligation to make proper nerds out of these battalions of unschooled geeks as they wash up in waves on our corporate portals, waving their digital music collections and assuming they have a right to run software applications.”

“Make proper nerds? Oh, do I detect here a note of resistance to the geek invasion, Bobo?”

“Well, it is hardly right for such young brats in diapers to assume that they can step into my nerdy shoes with their miniscule knowledge of the essentials of CIO-ship.”

“Let me bring a parallel from the jungle. It is, no doubt a deflating experience for an ancient elephant to see young monkeys getting to the same hilltop without going through—shall we say—the same uphill elephant walking that you have done?”

“Well, Doc—elephant on a hilltop?—now that’s hardly a flattering description of my life. But yes, it captures the essence, in a way. I say this as a nerd who has made a concerted effort to understand my rivals. I am more computer savvy than most of my fellow nerds. I can do a little programming even now after having last written a whole application two decades ago, and I have not just one but several blogs. But the problem is that they want to take over.”

“Ah, so it is about control and command, eh?

“Of course it seems that way, my boy. It seems to me that the imaginary confrontation—this puffing of the geek tribe in the face-off against the nerds that you fear—needs to be nipped in the bud.”

“And how, exactly, do we do that, Doc?”

“Let me tell you a secret. No elephant is shaken by the sight of monkeys all around. In the jungle, the wise elephants do something special when they are distracted by chattering monkeys. They let them play all they want. The monkeys are good at foraging and messing around—they dig up the hill and it becomes easy then for the elephants to pull out the grass and feed.”

“I get the drift, Doc. In my CIO’s explorative mode, I examine applications of new technologies brought in by the monkeys of the geek tribe, and I am not unhappy about this. I see that the El Gizmos have important contributions to make.”

“Voila, you comprehend! You cannot wish away the geeks, Bobo. The answer, then, is to share the hilltop. Let the monkeys make it easier for you, the chief nerd, to get the grass.”